Starscream's Pizza

Title: 'Starscream's Pizza'
Other Title: 'Tastes Like Crotch'
Series Based On: Transformers (G1)
Fandom Based On: 'The Starscream Family Chronicles'
Characters Featured: Starscream & Rachel.
Theme: Food experimentation.
Extra Info: Written in under 5 minutes. Rachel orders a pizza, as Starscream wants to try it. Too bad it's not to his liking...

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Starscream's Pizza


"So, how does this work again?"

Starscream eyed the item in his hand, before switching his puzzled gaze to his partner and back again.

"Its food sweetheart. You put it in your mouth, chew and swallow. In other words, you eat it."

"THIS is FOOD!?"

Rachel let out a little giggle. She loved how he was eyeing the tiny slice of pizza in his metallic fingers. It looked as if he was about to murder it should any of the topping move a single inch.

"Afraid so."

Starscream let out a sigh. He wasn't so sure that he should attempt to ingest the suspiciously murderous looking triangle of mush. He even started to wonder if she was having him on and it wasn't food at all, but some form of strange earth-creatures dung that he had not encountered before.

"Are you sure about this?"

"Do you want to try human food, or not?"

Rachel put her hands on her hips and gave him an irritable frown.

"I'd rather not", mumbled Starscream under his breath.

"RIGHT! Fine! More for me then..."

With that, Rachel took a slice for herself and began to munch on it, all the while making almost orgasmic noises.

"What the..."

The wing commander had NO idea what on earth was going on.

"If its THAT good, let me at it before your step-bot-father finds it!"

"Megatron doesn't care for Pizza", explained Rachel, attempting to chew through a big lump of chicken she had accidentally rammed into her mouth whole, "He prefers Raisin Roundies."

"So THATS what the cookie jar was for..."

After giggling a little, he tossed the pizza slice in the air and swallowed it with a noisy gulp.

Rolling the flavour around inside his mouth, he attempted to decide if the taste was to his liking or not.

His face changed from a puzzled frown to a wide-eyed grimace. Shortly followed by a loud 'yakh' noise from inside his throat.

"Bleh! Nope! Tastes like crotch!"